Okay, so today I only had one class. Psychology. I actually look forward to this one class because I have so much fun.

I dunno, I like my friends in this class. We're so talkative and stuff. ahaha. Well, today we had different groupings and it was kinda sad because I wasn't with Camille and Miks anymore. but it was okay. So, we had group work and blah.

After class, I was with Grace, Camille and Kenx. Anyway, we were in front of the STRC, shouting and going crazy. then we ate at cerealicious! oh yeah. I ate charlie and the chocnut factory. don't ask. ahaha~! it was sweet, chocolatey and chocnut-ey. wahahaha sorry I'm abit crazy. It was okay. We continued our craziness there.

Well, I read her blog yesterday and I just wanna say. dream on byotch. ahahaha.

Anyway, last sunday, I was shocked to hear that ekah had an accident. Gosh i cried so hard I didn't know what to do. She's fine now and we'll try to visit her tomorrow if it's possible.

I feel so stressed and tired. I don't want to be burdened by troubles anymore. I want to stop worrying. I want to stop. I'm not gonna wait for the sun to set on the east. It's impossible.

Today, I decided to skip classes.

I went out with friends to watch Eragon. It was really interesting. And we kept on teasing the lead guy. ahaha. After that we went to Toy Kingdom and spazzed over the cute stuffed toys.

Anyway, today wasn't so interesting. I just had PERSEF1 which was kinda fun. We had "sharing time" again. We didn't have INTGLOS so I was bored to death.

So, I'll just wrap this up because nothing much happened. Toodles!

okay so I'm random about the title. Can't think of anything else.

So, wednesday at U-Break, I was with Cherilyn, Mae, Mamot, Jo and Sean. Well, basically, Cherilyn with her blockmates. ahaha. Though, it was fine since I knew them already. So, we were at Pizza Hut. Che, Mamot, Mae and I came from Andrew. I'm guessing that Sean and Jo came from Red Ribbon since they bought a cake. It was really fun. It took awhile for us to order ahaha! Cherilyn was kinda pissed off because the service was totally bad. Anyway, I gave her the pink angel teuk and a bracelet and earrings set. I just hope she liked it. But I'm sure she liked angel teuk. ahahaha. After that, went to usual classes.

Today, I had swimming for first class. Swimming was nice. It soothed my mind. It relaxed me alot. Even if the water was freezing cold. ahaha. I was partned with Alexa. We started to do freestyle. And it was fine. Just like having basic training again.

Today, I saw him again. At first I got pissed off. But I told myself, I had other things to be pissed off about. Actually, I don't wanna get pissed off. It's bad for me. lolz but I really am trying to be a little more.. I dunno. I want to be cheerful always. *burns free loaders* *grins*

Today, I was crying. Camille was there to soothe me and I am grateful. We aren't really that close but it seemed so easy to talk to her. She's just like my friends, Adik Clan. May,Ekah, Edz, Dan, Gerty... I love these guys. JC-ers are really great. I love these people!

Today, I was just walking around the house when, suddenly, our neighbor started playing Britney Spears songs. Okay, don't even think about it. I wasn't singing along or anything, I was just listening to it. And I started questioning myself with her song Stronger.

Can I really say that, after all that has happened, am I stronger now? Can I say that, I'm not hurt anymore?

Of course not. I haven't forgotten yet. I haven't forgiven them yet. I don't even think that I can still forgive them.

Especially my so-called "bestfriend". She already knows, I'm done with forgiving her. She's already done alot of damage with our friendship. I'm done with her lies and her backstabbing. You know what, here's a friendly advice... set your priorities straight. If you say that you're my friend, then be one. Don't backstab me because it's not what a bestfriend does.

The other one, I don't know if I could still forgive her. She also did alot of backstabbing about me. I wouldn't say that I never did that with her, because I'd be a hypocrite. At least, I tried thinking about her. About how she felt. But she didn't think about how I felt. She was too greedy. She wants to know why I wanted to get close to that guy, well here's my answer. Because he was a good friend to me. He wanted to be my friend. And what did she do? She backstabbed about him and Che. I was afraid of entering college. In De La Salle, but when I met these two people, I was suddenly fine with entering the school. Because I know, I have my friends with me. I had these two friends with me. She didn'e even think about that. I thought she understood me, I guess I was wrong.

Well, I'll be open minded about it when they apologize. Because I know for myself that I wont. I never did anything wrong. Why would I admit to their mistakes? Even if they apologize, nothing would be the same anymore. everything will change. everything must change.

After typing this blog entry, I never shed a tear, I never felt any sympathy. Am I stronger? or just numb?

first of all, let me say... happy birthday mommy che!!! you're officially old.. I mean, legal. hahaha! wow, time flies by so fast, I still remember making a crappy graphic for her birthday.

So, today, I went to school to finalize my dropping. let me say, manual dropping sucks. Big time. Aish, I didn't even get a refund, oh well, at least I dropped the subject already. I dunno why, but I'm suddenly not in the mood to take histciv. After that, I went to starbucks and chilled. Well, I started the joint fic that me and Mommy will be making. So after that, I had my classes then after classes I went to McDo. When I was about to go home, I saw him. God, he looked.... disturbed? ahahaha. I dunno. I feel like an attention whore now. I dunno, I still feel bad and is still disappointed with him.

Anyway, I don't wanna think about him anymore. I read something recently. Her thing about me. That she misses me and crap. I mean, would I dare believe it? NO. I dont want to anymore. I've had enough lies.

On wednesday I'm going to wear the red and gold dress~~!!!! ahahaha It's mommy's birthday celebration. ahahaha

Anyway, I'll go and watch CSI now.

"I shall return..."

well, I never actually left, but I am returning to this blog. Why? I effingly need space. I need to breathe. In my previous blog, I'm being... I dunno, interrogated. violated. These people needs to know that I am awfully violated! I mean, it is my personal webspace. Can I have at least, an inch of air to breath?

They say, they want to let go. They want to "end everything". But why is it that they still check my posts? my previous blog? It only goes to show that, they want to be all up in my business, when they really shouldn't. I don't really get it. They say they want to end it, but why do they still talk about me behind my back? Why do they still spread gossips around and behind me? It's stupid. i know this might seems evil but, I was quite happy when she didn't pass dlsu. I really was. Part of me wanted to mourn with her, but after all that has happened, I really don't wish to see her again. Yes, it sounds awfully bad, but what can I do? They're the one who's forcing me to do this. I didn't want to start it, but they did.

I've had enough of being patient, understanding and ignorant. Now I am the one who's going to end it all. Let's just stop all the bullshit and I hope you go on with your lives. Stop blaming me for your wrong doings. It was your mistake to begin with. I won't even care about what you say anymore because, you're always thinking about yourself. What if, for just one minute, you thought about how I felt? Then you'd know. You'd know the sufferings that I had. I thought you were my friends. You were supposed to understand. You were supposed to support me in whatever decision I made. But what did you do? You tried controlling my life. I never asked you to cut your wrists for me! Why, did I tell you to do that? Never! It was YOUR CHOICE. you make your own decisions! So stop blaming me for your selfishness and cruelty! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU! SO STOP!

I'm actually happy that our "friendship" is coming to a halt. Because you made me realize who my real friends are. Who I can really trust. Who really cares about me. You mentioned that I didn't even say sorry? hah. I apologized to you a couple of times, but now, I'm regretting it. because I didn't do anything wrong! You're the one making your own karma and your own mistakes. I'm done here. So, let's stop the bullshit. I hate you, you hate me, let's never talk to each other again. it's for the best.