Today, I had my Lasare1 or LaSallian Recollection. It is done for one whole day and it is exclusively for Freshman students at De La Salle University. At first I thought, oh my, this is going to be boring. Because one of my friends, namely Camille, told me I might as well bring a blanket and a pillow. On the other hand, my other friend, Cherilyn told me it was worth attending to. I'll only share about the parts that I could remember okay?

S, I woke up at 6:30 AM. At first I was too bored to get up because I was so sleepy. So, I got myself up and did my morning rounds. I arrived in school at 7:21 so I was just on time. As I got in, some of my blockmates were already there. First thing that came into mind. Here we are again, with my blockmates.

We chatted for a while and then, the first session started. As soon as we got settled in the prayer room, everyone was so noisy. It was natural. Since high school recollections, everyone is noisy. So, he started writing on the blackboard. It was weird, he instructed us to get OUT of the room! I was actually confused I thought we did something wrong. But it was the first activity. at first it was weird ubntil he explained to us the significance. First reflection: be careful and sensitive with our actions towards rules and towards people.

Then he made us do reflection again and stuff. Then we had a break. So we ate and chatted then after a while we returned to the prayer room. This time, we had a calm talk. He talked about his trials in life. He never asked us to do a reflection but I had one. Never take things for granted, and, everything happens for a reason. He gave us two questions to answer. and I'd like to answer them here because he told us to answer it for ourselves.

When was God really present in your life? Honestly, I know, not think, that He is always present in my life. Sometimes, I know that I fail to notice that. I fail to acknowledge His presence with me. And I know it's wrong. Before, I'd always take time to pray and somehow, talk to Him. But now, I'm not doing that anymore. I know I can't complain that I'm busy and whatnot. I really felt sorta guilty.

Second question, When was the last time I chose to be present to this God? Now this, this is what really hit me. I dunno but, He knows that I am present but, do I want him to feel my presence? It's like breathing. It comes so naturally already that we fail to notice it.

Next activity, we were asked to listen to a song. I forgot the title, I think it's, I'll love you more than you'll ever know? haha. I really don't know. It's an old song. Our facilitator told us to think about the song. That God was the one singing it to us. It was a really nice song, love and trust. He asked us to make a reflection about it. The only thing I could share here is, the word thank you. Everything is personal to me.

On the next game, I wan't included because I was sick but it was an interesting game. I wouldn't be able to explain it because it's very complicated. But it was quite interesting. It's mainly about survival and saving other people. It showed us how selfish can people be. That people would only care about saving themselves first. And that people are always in a hurry. It opened up my eyes alot.

One of the last things I could share, was the spiritual gifts dicovery test. It was quite interesting. He made us answer these questions and summed them up the he gave us the meaning of the letters next to the total of each rows. I have 3 highest things. Teacher, Giver and Administrator.

Teacher. Tends to correct mistakes. Tends to sound a know-it-all. You'll love talking to them. Debater. Open Minded. Perfectionist. In a way. it was true. Sometimes, I hate it when I have mistakes with things. I am a very talkative person as well. I'm very open minded in the sense that, I accept the thoughts and other pespectives of people. Sometimes, I'm quite a perfectionist as well.

Giver. Passionate. Generous. Pampering significant others. Yeah, I'm also like this. Passionate and generous. I love pampering my friends. I always spoil them. I am very generous with people that I like it better to give than receiving.

and last, Administrator. Success-oriented. Natural leader. Organizer or mobilizes people for a certain task. I think that the last one is the only thing applicable to me. I'm not actually leader material. I like better when I'm the follower. I just prefer people telling me what to do, rather me telling people what to do.

That's about it. The day ended with a mass. After the mass, we left already. I would have to agree with Cherilyn. The Lasare was worth attending. It opened up alot of thoughts to me. I have realized so many things that I have took for granted. So, that was basically it.

Everything was just fine and dainty. what the? dainty? hahaha. I feel so tired so I'm gonna rest for a while. Till' next time.

Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: Move your body - Nina Sky

Okay, so yesterday, I didn't blog. Nothing to blab about anyway. I WAS supposed to blab but I've ALOT on my hands last night.

So, Last night I was freakin' dizzy. I was talking to at least 7 people all at the same time. The most important one was the Marquez family in Australia. I was talking to my cousin and auntie. Well, we were just planning about their vacation here on April which is top secret. And, another thing which cocerns my health but I will not discuss in right now because I'm wishing for it not to happen and I'm waiting for a confirmation before I say it.

I'm happy. I really am. Now, I've accepted that fact. As people would say, no use crying over spilled milk. Right? I've no reason to cry again because I've accepted this fact. Nothing's going to be the same anymore. I won't hope anymore because it will never happen. I don't want to make up with that person anymore. If she's that mad at me, no more. Call me cold-hearted, but I've had it. I don't want to cry anymore. I've had my share of tears to shed. and, I also realized as Cherilyn said, my crying won't do me any good. See mommy che!? I listen to you. :p

I feel happier than ever. It felt nice that this problem has been lifted of me. Hopefully, this is the final entry I'll have about this topic. I hope this wouldn't happen again. I've learned my lesson. I hope that after this, life can be smoother. Now I know, life's not about rainbows and butterflies. It's about darkness and making a light that can lead your way.

February is almost ending, and after reading my month's entries, It feels as if I went on a roller coaster ride. Ups and Downs. It would never change. Life would always be like this.

After these problems, I felt that I am stronger. I've grown and learned alot from this experience. Now I understand, God gave me this trial because he knew I can be stronger than I was.

Alot of things happened when I stepped in college. There were good experiences and bad ones as well. 2 months left and I'm going to be a sophomore. I know, I'll experience even more pains than this one. 16 years old. Froshie at De La Salle University. Who would believe someone could actually go through this?

My bond with my friends became stronger. I'm finally having a look on who my real friends are. And I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful that they're here to guide me. I'm thankful that they not only share laughs with me, but also the tears. I feel that I am not worthy to be their friend. But I am glad, I could make them happy as they'd do the same to me.

talk about drama in the morning huh? ahaha. I will see a brighter side from now on. I know for myself, I've matured alot. I've learned to be more sensitive, not only to myself, but also the people around me. I've learned to be patient and to look at two sides before crossing the street(it is metaphorical). I've learned to be strong, unlike my high school days when I'd always be crying. I've learned to fight for myself. I've changed.

and I love it!

mood: Happy
Listening to: Caught up - Usher

new layout for the month of march!

I know, it's a bit too early. actually, it is too early. ahaha. I just loved the layout is all. I changed the banner because I didn't like the brush work. So, I made one. DongHae! weee~!

I WATCHED SUJU T ON MAINSTREAM BUT IT SUCKED. yesh. I'm bitter because of that. But, nevertheless, I saw suju T performing!~ weeee~! I love it. they are so adorable. I missed HeeChul greatly, but not as much as I miss DongHae, seriously.

Rokkugguh was pure joy <333. It made me happy as well. ^^;

I'm beginning to be my old self again.

mood: happy
listening to: I'm not missing you - Stacie Orrico

I'll post here, what I posted in SJ Philippines thread, Suju Dream Thread.

one of the most awesome dreams I've had of them.. was last night.

I know I feel so bad these past few days, and with this dream, I'm really happy.

I was walking along in dlsu, with a duffel bag. On my own to the sports complex. I went in the elevator and got off at 9th floor. I was wearing jogging pants and a racer back shirt. As soon as I entered one of the rooms, where we'd usually hold our dance classes, there were alot of people in. Some were dancing and the majority were watching. As soon as the music stopped, I heard my name called so I rushed in and dropped my bag in the corner. I was so nervous, I just stood there while everyone's eyes were on me. Suddenly, a hand held my shoulder, I looked back, it was DongHae. He smiled at me and said, "We can get through it together". I smiled at him as he stood next to me. When the music started playing, eunhyuk appeared on my other side. I was happy. Dancing with the two of them... then... then...

I woke up.. -___-"

but nonetheless, I love that dream. It had a significance in my life, especially now.

So, I wanna explain further that significance I'm taking about. I'm really hppy to have this dream. Especially that line, we can get through it together. I've been having alot of difficulties these past few days and I'm glad to lessen the burden now.

I think that, my dream is telling me that, I can get through anything as long as I have my friends with me. I understand why only DongHae and EunHyuk were the only ones there. It goes to show that, even if I have few friends, I can get through anything as long as I have them. That, quality is more than quantity. Those LSDC people, their significance are my trials and problems in life. They are all around me, staring at me, watching me carefully. And DongHae and HyukJae are there, to defend me. To catch me when I fall.

Last night, as Ekah said on her blog, the truth is already revealed. And it hurts. It damn well hurts. I thought, I'll be happy knowing the truth, but instead it hurted me more. I cried endlessly again last night and I'm happy I had let it all out.

I'm not mad at her, still. I'm not going to do anything and get even with her. I'm just going to keep quiet and continue with my life. You might call me a martyr or something but, I just don't want to cause anymore pain to other people. I'd rather be the one hurt that other people getting hurt. I know it's wrong, but what am I to do? it already happened. I can't turn back time now. All is done.

I don't think I can forgive or forget. To those people who know me, they'd understand. I'll just bury it in a treasure chest on my heart where all my pain lies. It's like, I have pandora's box in my heart. Where all the evil and madness stays. and when I get curious, I'd open it and it all comes out. It poisons my body. I know I cannot do this, but this is how I am.

I wanna say thank you once again. I can't do it personally again because, I'm going to cry.

I just wanna say thanks to those people who believe in me. To those people who stood by my side and told me the truth. To those people who told me, I can get through it and everything would be alright. to those who told me that I'm strong and that I am worth more than that person. To Mommy Kai, Ekah, Cherilyn, Ate Tin, Camille and to everyone who made me strong. THANK YOU.

I'm happier than ever. I'll get through this.

Mood: Guilty and tired
Listening to: Too Little, too late - JoJo

Ever since that happened. The incident, I dunno. I'm hesitant about... everything. Yesterday, I seriously felt so loved. I felt that feeling once again. That feeling that someone actually cares for you. I saw that with my friends. With Ekah, Mommy Kai, Camille, my real friends.

I thought about, leaving SjPhils, the forum world, my world. I thought that, it would be easier that way. Many times that I have thought of doing this, but I couldn't. I wouldn't dare do it. Escaping is not the key to problems. I have to face them. I feel so tired already, like, I'm slowly deteriorating.

I suddenly remembered one of thise quotes we have from International Studies.. "We must learn from history because it will keep on repeating until we learn.." If that's so, why is this happening to me again?

Yesterday, I was with Ekah in G4. I was smiling. Smiles. My favorite mask. I'd just crack up jokes and smile to everyone, but what they don't know, I'm dying. It's too much pain for me. But, I was getting by. I can get through this right? I got through it before, I can get through it again... right? I have to be strong. I must be strong.

My heart is getting worse. I'm not supposed to be stressed or get mad or be emotionally unstable. It's the worst thing that could happen to me right now. But it is. It's wrong to supress it all inside, but what do I do? What can I do?

Last night, I couldn't be any happier. My friends made me so happy. Maybe, if it wasn't for them, I won't be here anymore. I owe alot to those people who keep me sane enough to continue living my complicated and darn life. I won't be having single replies like a forum, I just want to tell everyone, Thank You. Thank you for teaching me alot of lessons. Thank you for showing me that my life is still worth living after all these. I love each and eveyone of you.

to May: Kambal, *hugs* I understand you dear. I know na nahihirapan ka. I just want to say, please don't be guilty of something you did not do. I am not pointing to anyone. I am merely pissed off by everything that is happening. Dear, you do know that we are always here right? and you can tell us your problems right? that's why we have each other, so we can help one another. May, seriously, we love you and you know that right? almost 2 years of friendship, I think I can pretty much say that I know you already. Just, take all the time you need okay? We're just here. I'm here.. We can get through this.

I can't say anything anymore. I dunno. I feel tired. School, Academics, Organizations, Friends and now... this. I can't take it anymore.

Oh, just a happy thought, Ekah, my boyfriend, gave me SungMinnie! a cute small stuffed bear. It's color was blondish brown so I thought, SungMin!!! plus it's small so it's SungMin. XD added to my collection!

another happy thought, Cam gave me moffins this morning. YUP. MOFFINS. with an O. hahaha. It was okay, there were some missing ingredients but it ws fine unlike the one last week. XD

Last edit. hahaha. Vina, my classmate in Persef and NSTP is a shinhwa fan. XD She recognized the dong bang shin gi pin that I had on my bag. It's.. cool. I thought that me, che and lola tin were the only fangirls in dlsu.

Mood: Pissed and tired
Listening to: Miahn Han Maeum - Wondergirls

Yesterday, was one of those moments when I want to just...grr... I dunno.

So, Morning, the usual classes and stuff. Then during the break I went online posted a few stuff and there. Went to last class and blah went off home.

As soon as I got home, of course, I went online. And I was shocked to find, SJ Philippines... GONE! oh my god. We all thought that there was an error with proboards, but it was confirmed, the board was deleted. Fuck that person. She even used MAY'S account! Oh my, the nerve! Then I also heard that, she screenshot one of my posts that said, Angels are different from Bangers. She even posted it in DongBang World and TVfXQ World. Oh my, this is just, too much controversy. I wouldn't dare leave the computer, my nurse was shouting at me already. It's so unreal. I just cried. I cried because of the frustration, hurt and this was already tiring.

My life is going in circles, controversy here and there. I couldn't study for my midterms. I was so damn depressed. I asked Ekah to call me and she did. I kept on crying to her. I couldn't take the pain anymore. Whoever did it, she went too far. It was damn too much. I don't even understand why this happened. Its... unreal. I felt like everything was my fault.

I should have left when I had the chance. I should have gone to Australia already when my parents wanted me to. I should have listened to them. Then, everything would be alright. Nothing would be wrong. Everything's my fault. I feel so sorry to everyone. I'm sorry to the jc-ers. I'm sorry to the angels and bangers if they were offended to my statement. I'm sorry to everyone that got affected.

I'm so tired already, I shouldn't be even this way. I can't act like this right now, but what can I do? I wish that I could perish from the earth. I just want to die so that everyone would be happy that way right? When I die, everyone would even hold a party because I did die. I don't want to experience this pain anymore. I'm already experiencing pain from all the medications, and still, I'm experiencing this pain in my heart.

Mianhe everyone. I don't know what to do to compensate for my faults. I feel like I'm such a bad person. I am a bad person. I'm sorry to bring you all so much trouble.

Okay, so i know I haven't been blogging for the past few days... why? because there's nothing to blog about.

Well, the days we're crappy. I dunno. There was really nothing going wrong on anything. Nothing was going right either. =___="

Wednesday, I had my midterms in Global Studies. This is stupid. I stayed up until 3 in the morning to study because I thought it would be so hard, then.... it was true or false and multiple choice. grrr. Hurrah for me. *sarcasm* Well, party, I stayed up because of Snowflower, the korean drama which starred Go Ara and Kim KiBum. *I bought it for KiBum* hahaa. Okay, I liked kibum in the series. He was so cute and I loved his role. The crazy thing was, I was giggling whenever I saw him O__O; hahaha.

So, today, I just finished swimming class. I didn't know that we had our midterms really. So, she asked us to do one lap lengthwise, which was 50 meters or 3 laps crosswise, which.. er... I dunno.. I chose, 1 lap lengthwise of course. What was the training during the summer for? So, I did it with 59 seconds. I'm happy like this ^_______^;

I just realized something a while ago in the pool. Because everytime that I would go lapping, I would always think about him. He and his goofy smiling filling my mind. Then today, he didn't. I don't think about him much anymore and I'm happy about it. Maybe after the thing last monday, I'm finally free. (I hope so!)

Well, this week is also the intramurals week in Ann Arbor. I'm so sad because I didn't get to go since it's midterm week. T_T. Yeah I'm such a dork. grrr. I'm also freezing cold here in the cybernook right now. rawr.

I miss DongHae. T__T

Okay, so today, I got pissed off so early in the morning.

When I arrived in school, I was late. As usual, in Mr. Marasigan's class. Okay, so when I arrived they were discusing and laughing so I thought, I'm missing the review already. After a while, they all stood up and were saying goodbye to sir already. My reaction... O__o; My mind was like, what the eff is wrong?... Okay so we had a free cut! I should have gone to my old school to watch the cheering competition instead.

Okay, so I ended up going to the main library instead.I stayed there, reading my sociology book for our group quiz. Then I received an SMS from Cam asking me on how was our Psychology paper. So, I told her I'm going to the 10th instead. So, when I arrived there, I talked to Camille and Gracey then we saw Hugh going out of the classroom so I talked to him about *ehem* haha. And he admitted that his crush is *ehem* (Cam I love you! XD)

One of the stupid things I did? I sat in their class. Fudge. I didn't know why I did that, but the whole time, I didnt' even look at him. The funny thing was, I was talking to Charlton in the hallway and he was walking around. Eh, I was laughing and when he passed by, I saw him smiling at me but I didn't mind him and continued talking with Charlton. Fudge him. Anyway, so yeah, I sat in their Kaspil1 class with Sir. Santiago which was okay. He was a good professor afterall and he was extremely nice. Cam and I kept on giggling and "txting" each other over on her phone. Talking about her "relationship" with Hugh that was soo grade school. I even helped Cam's groupmates with their work. It was fun really. So, when class ended, I kept telling Cam that we needed to go because I was getting suffocated. Which was clearly an insult to him.

When we walked out, I insisted that Cam sat in our class in Kaspil2. (right back at ya dear!) haha. So, yeah, I talked to Hugh once again outside the class since we both have the same professor. Cam suddenly disappeared. Okay. That was bizzare. So, I txted her to come up as soon as Hugh and I finished talking. She sat in my class because of Enchong Dee. hahaha.

After that, well, I had Sociology class. We had our group quiz which involved a movie entitled, The Red Violin. Seriously,I think we did fine and the movie was quite intriguing and interesting.

Yeah, so that was my ordinarily evil monday. toodles! Midterms this week! *shudders* wish me luck!

I dunno why I came up with that title. Anyway. hahaha.

Today, my cousin frean' woke me up. I had the best dream, and she woke me up. psh. Anyway, she woke me up to eat over at our grand parent's place where we usually eat at Sundays. So I went there, chatted with my grandmother then when my sister arrived, we ate. While we were eating, I suddenly received a message from Ekah. She asked me if I could go to G4. Okay, that was so random.

So, as soon as I got home, I asked my dad and mom. And they said yes. So, I went there at like, 1:30 PM. Dan was already there. Bangers were also there because they celebrated ChangMin's birthday(?) I'm not so sure. Anyway, when Ekah arrived, we went to Starbucks.

At starbucks, we just chilled. Watched the ultimate Super Junior perf in Japan. We call it SuJu Heaven. hahaha. Anyway, we just watched a couple of perfs and talked talked talked.

That was basically my sunday. Nothing much, just an ordinary sunday with super special friends. So, it's called the supreme sunday. hahaha XD

today was the most unlucky day ever.

First, I woke up at 5 AM for our Community Service. Ugh. I'm not so enthusiastic in teaching little snotty kids. ahahah Sorry for the term. So, during the wait in the jeep, I saw alot of friends and people. Camille even gave me a piece of muffin. (Which tasted aweful! yuck!)

Anyway, so I arrived there, feeling fine. Until I started teaching. I suddenly had this feeling in my stomach. It hurted alot! and I was feeling so dizzy. So I went back to the headquarters thing there. And I didn't teach much because I really felt so bad. T_T

So after community service, I was dropped off in SM Fairview and I met up with May, my twin sis. Hahaha, we met up at like, 1:30. I dunno. We bought ramyun, chocopie, pepero and onion rings. And we made our way to Dan's place. I was feeling kinda fine during those moments.

When we reached Dan's place, gosh my tummy really really hurted alot. So, we watched a couple of vids. I even fell asleep because of my stomach. So, at 5:30 I already went home because it really hurts alot.

When I got home, I just went online and blah. I finished my fic! Summer Games and Winter Skates! I'm so proud of myself! wooh!~

enough blabbing, I'm sleeping. nyt!

Okay, so, wipe out that last blog entry. that was one of my random drama queen moments this morning.

Anyway, today was such a bummer. I didn't do anything at school. there were no classes. I just stayed at the booth and chilled with Joanna.

The moment I arrived at school, I saw JJ. And he talked to me. I know, I'm happy because of this little thing. Well, he rarely talks to me. Anyway, he asked if I had a Henna tatoo already and I said no. And he told me I should get one. So, as soon as I arrived at our booth, me and Joanna got one. ahahaha Mine's a butterfly by my hand and she got 2 chinese characters on her arm.

So, there we just sat and talked non stop about Larc~en~ciel and more fangirling. After that, I decided to have my tarot reading session. It was so creepy because everything he said was so true. omg.

5 PM came and I met up with Mommy Che. So we just stayed at central plaza and chatted until we were going home.

I wanted to watch the fireworks show, but my cousin didn't go with me today. T.T

Mood: Confused
listening to: Walk Away - Paul DeAnda

You know...
This is really a secret but
I still miss you
I still remember your phone number
Your habits...
Your ways
The way you talk too
I remember everything so clearly
What am I going to do with myself?

This is crazy. I'm crazy for feeling this way. Can't this feeling just stop? Why do I find it hard to remove him from my thought? Why does he suddenly fill my mind even if I don't want to. Before, everything used to be so fine. But now, everything fell apart.

I know, I channel everything to my friends, studies, shopping, make up, super junior, but... it isn't enough. is it really love?

As the song says, it gets so hard to walk away. Sigh, when can I really say I'm okay? When can I say that I'm over you? When can I say that I'm finally loving someone else. That's why I find it hard to say yes to him. I feel like he's just going to be a rebound. Or can I love him too? I can love him if I try right? sigh.

Mood: Tired
Listening to: My Boo - Usher and Alicia Keys

Yesterday was, Single Awareness Day. Yesh. Well, the morning part was EXCELLENT. Of course I had class. After the first class, I was manning the booth for our organization since I'm such a good member. *plus I might be getting a position! *winks*

I just waited there for a while because Ekah and I had a date. Yeah. Hahahaha. Oh happy day! I was amped to go to Glorietta already and see Ekah because, just as I have redundantly blogged before... I FREAKIN' MISS THAT GIRL.

Okay, so the 1 PM date became 3:30 PM ahahaha. real nice. But it was pure joy. We just talked endlessly. So, we bought frapucchinos and just chatted. We also went window shopping. I am so good in spotting Super Junior related clothing. I was eyeing that KyuHyun inspired MKMF shirt for a long time already and I am saving up for it. Next target would be the polka-dotted long sleeves that is HeeChullie inspired. I dunno it suddenly become a fetish to buy Super Junior clothing. I am also going to buy that striped hoodie in SM.

Yes, I am the fashionista fangirl.

So, after a while, Dan came! ahaha. So, we remained in the food court and chatted some more. I actually let Dan read the Lemon for MeiChul. (Mei=MeiJia=Ekah and Chul=HeeChul) Yeah, more of Donna's fangirl ramblings.

So, after a while, we went to my favorite shop. People are People. I showed them the clothes that are super junior inspired. Yesh. Fangirling is good. Then we roamed around some more then we ended up at the activity center. There was a concert and the person suddenly sang Tell Me Where It Hurts. I ended up crying.

It reminded me of him so much. Because I told him all my pains and he would always tell me to stop crying. And I did. I stopped when he told me too. I loved it when he was there with me. But everything stopped. I don't know what and why it happened. It just did.

I'm just going to stop or I'm going to end up crying again.

Today, I had my first ever LEAP class in DLSU. I was excited for this day because it was an alternative class where we can get to pick a class of our interest. I was with Che because... I dunno. hahaha. We both attended an Adobe Photoshop CS2 crash course. I do know how to use PS but I still need to learn some techniques.

I expected to learn alot from the course but, it was really easy and I don't get to use those techniques much because I'm not really the animation person thing. Anyway, I got to go online!~ like I don't always go online. hahaha. After the crash course, Cherilyn and I went to EGI to eat. We ate at DonDon's and chatted. After that, we went off to the main building. She went to SPS and I went to the Library to borrow the cable thing for the projector.

In the afternoon, I was the assistant project head for the Archaeology 101 crash course. It was really interesting since I am a history major. I wanna experience being able to discover something made by prehistoric people. They even showed how they duplicate the ancient stuff. it was awesome! I got the indian man on top of the manunggul jar. Okay, for those who doesn't know what that is, it's an ancient burial jar. The indian men at the top are the guards who bring those people in the jar to next life.

Yesh, so I'm gonna stop my blabbing about the LEAP classes. But I am looking forward to next year's.

Tomorrow is Single Awareness Day! wooooh! hahaha. I have a date with HeeChul, I mean with Ekah! hahaha

I wanna share to everyone the best angels that God sent down for me.








Adik Clan [L-R: Ekah, May, Dan and Gerty]


Cherilyn Michelle Ong

Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: Can you feel the love tonight - Elton John

Okay, I know its weird that I'm listening to Elton John, but what can I do? It's the song from Y!Launch. hahaha. Okay so I'm just going to change the station then.

I dunno why I'm blogging I just felt like it. Okay so now, the song playing is irreplaceable. Sigh.

Today, I was supposed to go to Glorietta 4 with Ekah, Dan and May. I suddenly remembered it's my mom's birthday. Okay stupid of me, I know. Anyway, I hope they decided to go over here. I sooo miss them already.

I really feel kinda bad these past two days. I dunno why, but it's not because of them. It crazy, I'm crying. Pointless. Stop crying. Crying won't do anything.

I know, I have the greatest friends the God has given. and I am thankful to him. He gave me the best set of friends that anyone can ask for. And for them, I will hold on. I know that I can make it through. I know that they'll always be there to make me strong. They're the people that truly knows and appreciates me. I know that they'll be by my side always. I just won't listen to those people anymore. They will no longer exist in my life.

Just like mommy Che said, "Act as if they're dead." and I would.

This is the last time to cry. If I would cry again, I dunno what would happen anymore.

Mood: Melancholic
Listening to: Katharine McPhee - Over it

Sigh, the song kinda fits to my mood right now. Okay this rarely happens especially now in college, I cried again. I cried over at Cello's. It wasn't really intentional.

Wait, so let me talk about a different thing first. This afternoon, I went to a Talk at Yuchengco. It was about vanity and make up. It was so cool. The speakers were from Matro magazine and L'Oreal Philippines.

The first speaker was a girl. I forgot her name, but she taught us about or skin types. I'm guessing mine is oily - mixed skin. I think I'm going to buy new make up from now on. and I think it's going to be mostly L'Oreal. ahaha.

So, the guy, the representative from L'Oreal. He showed us how to put make up on which was absolutely interesting. I now know how to use a concealer and an eyelash curler! well, I actually know how to use it, but I'm amazed by what I learned. ahahah. I mean how to do it professionally.

Anyway, about the thing in Cello's. god forget it. I'm well to pissed.

yeah, here I am again.

Today, as usual, I had one class. Psychology. Well, I had fun, as always. we did some activities and blah blah blah.

Anyway, I'm not here to blabb about that. I'm here to blabb about something that I was thinking of.

I was photoshopping earlier because I recently downloaded some brushes and I was browsing throught and I saw these words. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, then they were always yours. If they don't, they were never yours."

I know what your thinking. I'm going emo again and stuff. well, sorta. When I read these words, they made me realize a few things.

1. Nothing lasts forever. well, maybe some but not all. I would always wish and say that I'd be forever with my friends, which would really be impossible. But, I wanna spend my time with them as long as I'm here.

2. Maybe they never were my friends. Okay. This, I felt kinda bad. Today, when I went to school, I was pondering about what would have been, what could have been, if I didn't meet him and Cherilyn. Well, I couldn't think of any possibilities. I couldn't think of any more answers. Because it was impossible. It already happened. And I couldn't change anything anymore. It already happened. It's true what they say... In the end, it's where you'll regret.

3. True friends are never gone. I already proved this. with Faye. We don't have much in common anymore, and yet, we're still the best of friends. She could relate to me and I the same to her. Even if I didn't talk to her for a long time, she'll still welcome me with open arms.

I really miss my friends. As in I super miss them. Especially Ekah, May, Edz, Gerty, Dan and Faye. I wish that I could always hang out and see them.

Aish, this is too much drama in one day. I'll go now. Toodles!

Last saturday was the best! hahaha. Well, not the morning part really. The morning part was kinda pissing off for me. So I'll skip that one off.

When I arrived at DLSU, I immediately went to U-Mall to meet up with Cherilyn. We have a movie date because it was KyuHyun's birthday.So, we first went to school just to freshen up then we went to Mall of Asia. We ate, we chatted and we went off to watch a movie. We watch Night at the Museum which was totally hilarious. We even named the monkey HyukJae... hahaha. Then, sadly, I had to leave because we were in a hurry to go to Laguna. So I left her at the internet shop and I went home.

My cousins and my dad were the only ones there. So, we went to Laguna. It was really traffics but we managed to get there. So, we got settled then ate dinner then went over to my cousin's birthday. So, late night, we went back there and I joined my cousin and her friends. Well, some were my friends too. So we started drinking and playing games. It was sorta fun.. I got kinda drunk but it was okay. ahaha. I was with Joey most of the time. Sp, there were alot of Kissing, smooching and blah but it was okay. We left at like, 3 AM and I slept off at 4 AM.

The morning after, I woke up, ate breakfast, went swimming for a while again, then just sat down and rested. We went back my cousin's villa after a while and I just hanged with the girls. Well, we played games again. ahahah.

The two days were so much fun.. but they were tiring. nevertheless. very fulfulling.
I'll post pics later. toodles!

yesterday, I had swimming class and went to katipunan. I was just bored so I decided to drop by. I was with Aimee and Di the whole afternoon. We had so much fun. Aimee and I went to Cello's and bought doughnuts. Yeah we are pigs. hahaha. After that, we went to starbucks, and bought coffee. We were talking and giggling there. Well, we had fun. Di followed because she fell asleep at the apartment. Then we decided to walk in Ateneo. It was freakin' cold but it was nice. hahaha. I went home at about, 8 PM! ahaha.

So, today, I had classes. I was bored the whole day. Its freakin' weird. Anyway, it was okay. Just felt the day was sooo boring. aish. it's crazy.

Well, I miss ekah badly. I actually miss everyone. May, Dan, Edline, Alliza, Ekah, Ate Rica... I miss the JC-ers badly. I'm dead tired from all the school work I'm glad the rate is going down.

It's february already. time sure flies fast. Tomorrow, it's Kyuhyun and my cousin's birthday. I'm sorta excited because we'll go swimming. And me and Mommy Che will watch a movie. weeee~! first movie and it's kyuhyun's birthday!! hahaha

I'm kinda looking forward tomorrow. It would be so much fun. :)