Mood: Happy and Sad (is it even possible?}
Listening to: Someday - Nina

Okay, this first day wasn't really what I thought it would be.

Today wasn't like the FE's during first term. No running around, no early call times, no RTRs.

Well, first of all, I arrived in school at about 11:50. I thought I was running late for my first class already and it turned out that my prof was absent. Great. Just great. So I just waltzed around the school figuring out what to do.

I finally decided on going to the 10th. And I saw camille there. Then next came Addie, Gladys best friend. And then, there goes Gladys. And you know what happens when we get together. Chaos + Noise = Fun for Gladys, Cam and Me. Add up to the equation Addie. Oh my god. As quoted from Cam, The Shame. hahaha I accompanied Gladys to charge her ipod in EGI. on the way down we talked and talked and talked. hahaha. So, after that we went back and I went to the main campus.

I just passed the A-form at SCO and I tried to do the reservations but Ate Nida wasn't there and I was already running out of time. So after that, I went to Miguel naturally. We had kaspil class. I couldn't answer his exam! I am so screwed. Sigh.

Anyway.

Sigh, I dunno. Seriously, these few days, I've been making descisions I didn't even think about. I made actions without even thinking. I've been sad because of something I wanted to know. I'm sad because of a person that I love will have to leave my side. I'm being pressured badly by my dad. to tell the truth, I feel so bad.

On the surface, I'm laughing, having fun. But when you dig deeper, it's not only laughter that you would see. I'm really mourning inside. When I want to cry, I just suppress ever tear behind my eyes. I feel so aweful. I pity myself that I couldn't shed a tear. Because I choose not to.

I choose to keep it all to myself. I choose not to show anything to anyone. I choose not to talk but rather, just laugh. Smile. Yes, smile. Smile all the pain in my heart.

Why do I choose to smile, because I don't want my friend to worry about me. I know they don't like it when I cry and I try not to.

I feel so sad, Ate Ana's leaving on Saturday. One of my most treasured people will go to a foreign country now. Now I know how sad and hard it is. There's going to be that hole in your heart until that person returns. But what can I do? I can't stop her from achieving her dreams. I could only wish her the best of luck. Ate Ana, if you're reading this, thank you so much for all the support. Thank you for the comfort, love and friendship that you gave me. Always go online there okay? and don't forget to kidnap DongHae for me. I <333 you so much.