Mood: Sad and crying
Listening to: Miahn Han Maeum - Wonder Girls
These past few days, I had been so busy with work and stuff. And I am seriously tired and still stressed. My summer vacation has really become solely summer now.
These past few days as well, a dear friend of mine has been having alot of problems. That night that we went out, she acquired bad news from her school and I was doing something for school and my grandfather that I was cramming already. I felt really guilty because I couldn't talk to her that well because of my work. The next day, another bad thing came her way and I couldn't talk to her because of my job. And these past few days, she's been having alot of problems and I couldn't talkt to her that well. She would IM me in MSN and I couldn't even give her a bit of my attention, a bit of serious and meaningful answers, but instead, I rush.
Seriously, I hate myself for this. I know, I wanted these jobs and positions. I worked hard and well to achieve what I have right now and I am proud of myself for this. It's not that I'm regretting having these jobs, it's just
I hate myself for having no time for my friends especially when they need me. And when I need them, they're always there for me.
I feel like
I am such a bad person for being like this. I feel so bad because I couldn't help her. I couldn't help my friend who needs me during those times. I've
become too much of a workaholic.I feel so bad because it feels like I'm turning my back on them. It feels like I'm neglecting them of my time and attention which I don't normally do to my friends. I've become such a bad person to my friends.
I've given so little attention to the things that gives me happiness.
Super Junior. These 13 men that paved the way to give me awesome friends. I have not yet forgotten about them of course, who could? Though they
turned my life into a roller coaster ride, I am thankful for it. For all the sad and happy moments of these early few months of the year, I am thankful. I am thankful that I am loving Super Junior.
These friends I have now,
friends from school and forums,
are the best friends that I could ever ask for. They have been nothing but real friends to me. My friends from school, you know who you are and I don't want to mention names anymore, thank you for understanding me.
Thank you for accepting me for who I am and what I am. Thank you for sharing fun moments with me. You guys are really fun and nice to be with. Very supportive and understanding people that I will forever cherish. I hope this friendship will continue until we leave DLSU.
To my friends from forums, unnies, dongsaengs and friends, sorry for not being so active in forums anymore. And I thank that you all welcome me with open arms whenever I have time to return to the forum. Thank you for consoling me in times of my problems and for telling me the complete truth all the time.
I know, we can't be forever fangirls, but we can forever be friends right? To my unnies, my ever undertsanding unnies, thank you for the advices. You don't know how much those little advices mean to me. My dongsaengs, thank you for the advices and support as well.
You all have become my strong wall of courage and confidence. You guys don't know how much you all mean to me. I may not be able to show it often but, you all are always in my heart.
to all my friends,
I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for giving little attention to all of you. I've become such a person that doesn't deserve your friendship.
Thank you for all the things that you've done for me. All those consoling and also those happy days. I hope you could all understand what I am going through right now. And thank you for understanding as well. But no matter what happens, if I'm busy or anything else, I'm still here. Just drop me and SMS or an IM and I'll try my best to talk. You guys know that right?
Thank you for sharing meaningful memories with me. May it be sad or happy, I am thankful for you have shared a point of your life with me.
No, this is not my will, this is neither my dying letter, this is simly my way of saying sorry and thank you. I hope you'll continue to support me and be my friend.
I love you all from the bottom of my heart.