someone showed me the old tree today.
and as I saw it. It was completely different.
it was no longer gloomy and scary.
it actually had life. very colorful with leaves.
as I went around the tree, feeling a hint of happiness since I grew up taking care of the tree, I felt happy.
as I looked around, looking for the name that I etched somewhere around the tree, I realized someone has scratched it out of there.
along with some names of a few important people in my life.
the smile on my face faded. I actually felt like crying.
I helped nurture that tree.
it was cut off once, but we nurtured it and revived it.
we supplemented its needs. we gave it time to grow again.
seeing my name etched out, something was telling me that
I am not wanted.I guess, I never was.
I was never wanted.
Never needed.
I am insignificant.
I am nothing, right?
while I helped bring up that tree which has now bloomed.
I suddenly became unimportant.
it hurts like hell. Even if we did plant a new seed and it bloomed into a beautiful young tree.
it hurts because, something was telling me to leave.
they told me to leave.
because I am insignificant.
finally, after 4 years, I had that feeling that I was unwanted once more.